🪔 everything happens for a reason
no but actually
ok for starters - sorry for disappearing for like…. 2 months. not that anyone actually noticed or cared but i did think about b&b every single day and i’m glad to be back 🩵
i tell myself this phrase quite a lot. whether it’s in jest - to make myself feel better about something trivial, or in full seriousness as i process something, i find a lot of comfort and connection in the phrase “everything happens for a reason.”
april was a very hard month for me and i am finally starting to see the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.
what got me thinking about this phrase in particular though, is i picked up my journal (for the first time in over a month.. the longest break i’ve taken in over two years) and randomly opened it to the entry i had written on christmas eve, 2024.
i was chronicling how i had dropped a cookbook on my finger and broken a nail and my sister moira was going to help me remove my old set. we ended up removing all of my old dip powder in our attic that night and stayed up into the wee hours of the morning trying to salvage my poor nails. it was such a fun, sisterly moment and we laughed so hard we cried probably like 4 separate times.
ultimately, because i broke one nail and decided to remove all of my artificial ones, i have since grown out my natural nails. this is a HUGE accomplishment because i used to be a HORRIBLE nail biter.
i quite literally never thought i’d have nails of any length, let alone nails that are long or healthy enough to shape and maintain for months on end. it’s been almost 6 months since i started this journey and my nails are going strong, only one break and it was in january!! 💅 it seems silly and trivial because at the end of my day it’s just my nails but there is so much more meaning behind it.
a lot of religions, and schools of thought, believe that pain and suffering are integral parts of life. the general philosophy boils down to one succinct sentiment across denominations: suffering can lead to perseverance, character development, and a greater sense of dependence on the divine.
this perspective is rooted in the belief that you cannot become your best or most complete (read: holy) self without enduring some form of suffering. you must also triumph your success with the help of your spiritual tool belt. before i lose you with the religion, pinky promise to stick with me, i promise i’m going somewhere 🤞
i have always grappled with the concept of “necessary suffering” because i (obviouslyyyyyyy) don’t like to suffer but this stupid broken nail situation really made me think about it. something so mundane (and painful) as this manicure ended up teaching me a much larger lesson than i ever imagined.
i don’t believe that a person needs1 to be traumatized to become their most complete self or to learn a life lesson or two, but i do absolutely think there’s merit in the idea that how we adapt, improvise, and overcome from the [negative] experiences we face molds us, especially unintentionally. the pain i have experienced in my life and the trauma (physical, emotional, etc) has shaped me. it has made me who i am and for the most part, i am better for it.
i may have lost myself by mentioning religion because to be transparent, i wrote this in my head in the shower and have since completely forgotten my point BUT all that to say: everything, yes every. single. thing., happens for a reason.
this is starting to get a little too metaphysical for my business degree, so i’ll wrap this up. saving y’all from rabbit hole of the burnt toast theory btw 😘
i think ultimately what i’m trying to say is that sometimes the reason something happens isn’t clear to us at all. or that reason is crystal clear because it’s totally made up, maybe even a completely self-serving2 justification.
we all need to remember that we are in charge of our own lives. i emphasize this because it’s something that i forget 24/7. i often feel stuck and trapped in my life, job, and city and the practice of reminding myself that free will is a real thing has been instrumental in helping me find happiness in this season of my life.
because april was so horrible for so many reasons, i set a personal goal to get a new job by june 1st.
i am thrilled to share that i signed the offer letter for my new job on may 31st 😁 it’s been scary and exciting and weird and fun to embark on this new chapter of my professional life and i am really looking forward to it!
as i always say, i hope this piece resonates with someone somewhere. and if it doesn’t, let me know - i may need to hire you as a life coach. 🎯
needs is a strong word. frankly, i couldn’t think of a much better one but i hope my point comes across and this isn’t misinterpreted as pro trauma lol
this opens a whole new can of worms because i really think the world needs an attitude adjustment towards “selfishness”. we’ve really lost the plot with what is a truly selfish action and what just happens to be self-serving but I DIGRESS!
I needed every single bit of this
We did notice and we did care!! 🤪 how did you stop biting your nails?! I feel like I’ve tried everything